You know those maps at the mall — the ones with the color-coded directories and tiny store names? Most people walk past them. But if you're genuinely lost, there's one thing on that map that changes everything: the little red dot that says You Are Here.
Not where you wish you were. Not where you used to be. Where you actually are right now.
That's where starting over begins.
Everyone's Dot Is in a Different Place
Maybe you're a single parent holding three jobs together with duct tape and determination. Maybe you're in midlife wondering how 25 years went by and whether any of it mattered. Maybe you're young, trying to figure out who you are and where you fit. Maybe something happened — a loss, a failure, a relationship that ended — and you're just trying to find your footing again.
Whatever your dot looks like right now, the temptation is to compare it to someone else's. To look around at people who seem further along, more settled, more sorted — and feel like you're already behind before you've even started.
But starting over doesn't work that way. You can only start from where you are.
"You can't control your circumstances. But you can control your response — and your response is where growth begins."
Two Questions That Actually Help
When you're ready to move forward, the question isn't "where do I want to end up?" — not yet. The first questions are simpler and more honest.
What do I need to stop? Not the big dramatic stuff necessarily — sometimes it's subtler. The comparison. The complaining. The habit of replaying the past. The worry that's consuming energy you need for moving forward. These things don't just feel bad; they actively keep you stuck.
What do I need to start? Something small is fine. A morning that begins with intention instead of your phone. A conversation you've been avoiding. Showing up somewhere consistently. Getting around people who are moving in the direction you want to go.
These aren't magic. But they're real. And they're things you can actually do from wherever your dot is right now.
Starting Over Isn't Starting from Zero
There's a version of starting over that feels like loss — like everything has to be torn down and rebuilt from scratch. Sometimes it is. But more often, starting over is less about demolition and more about reorientation. You're not starting from zero. You're starting from here, with everything you've already lived and learned.
Think about anyone you admire who has rebuilt something — a career, a relationship, a sense of self after a hard season. Chances are, they didn't have a perfect plan. They just got honest about where they were, stopped pretending otherwise, and took one step from there. The reorientation came before the road map.
Your circumstances might feel impossible. But your response is still yours.
You Don't Have to Figure It Out Alone
One of the loneliest parts of starting over is the feeling that everyone else has it figured out and you're the only one rebuilding. You're not. Most people are working something out — a loss, a transition, a quiet crisis they don't talk about much.
Community matters more than people expect at this stage. Not cheerleaders who tell you everything is fine — but honest people who will tell you the truth, walk alongside you, and remind you that growth is possible from exactly where you are.
If you're in Houston and looking for that kind of community, we'd love to have you at Second. No performance required. Just come as you are — wherever your dot is right now.